Victim or Warrior

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The current crisis has left us all in a very unique situation – one we never expected to be in. Many of us are feeling vulnerable and afraid. During times of tragedy and trauma, it’s easy to fall into despair.

One of the things that really helped me after I lost my home during Hurricane Harvey was a saying I heard years ago, “Things are not happening to us, they are happening for us”.

I don’t know who said those words but I clung to them. I couldn’t see how such a devastating situation could be working for me, but those words gave me hope and helped me not to fall into the despair that was constantly calling my name.

During this time of sheltering at home, toilet paper hoarding and generalized fear, I encourage you to focus on what you do have and not on what’s been lost.

Difficult times may be inevitable but being a victim is a choice. It’s a way of seeing yourself and the world around you. Something bad may be happening to you but it doesn’t have to define you.

This pandemic has forced us all to make a choice. Who do you want to be in the current situation?

A coaching associate of mine, Kirk Souder, wrote an article about this very thing. He re-frames this time of social distancing and compares it to cocooning. Rather than seeing this as a time of isolation and deprivation, we can use this time for transformation and, like the butterfly, emerge from our cocoons better than before.

Click here to read Kirk’s article.

Speak up * Speak easy * Speak often!

6 Ways Failure is Just as Important as Success

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No one likes to fail. It feels bad. You might feel like giving up or blaming someone else or beating yourself up. But you might be surprised to hear that many successful people are not just grateful for their past failures, but they ascribe their present success to having tried and failed in the past.

Here are six reasons to embrace your failures.

Failures are opportunities

To see failure as an opportunity is not putting a Pollyanna spin on reality. It’s accepting that everyone fails, and you can choose to learn from your mistakes, or you can stay stuck in them.

Successful people see mistakes as milestones. They are an opportunity to learn and grow. Learning what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do. Once you know something doesn’t work you can course correct and set your compass for success.

Failures show up your weaknesses.

Whether it’s not being able to resist a cigarette if you’re in a social situation, or finding you need more accountancy skills than you thought you did. If you can detach from the emotions of failure you can soon see where the leaks in your boat are and take steps to mend them. You can also use your weaknesses as an opportunity to build your team. Finding people who are strong in the areas that you aren’t is a great way to maximize your strengths and minimize those weaknesses.

Failure will make you resilient

One big lesson from trying and failing is finding out you can get right back up again and keep going. You can admit that you tried and failed and use what you learned to build a better strategy to get to your goal. And that’s a huge life lesson. Think of failure as a friend who is helping you develop your strength.

Failure will make you innovate

Failure can make you more inclined to try different strategies, to see risk in a different light. If you’re not afraid to fail, you’re more likely to try bold strategies and might just hit on something big! Playing it safe can lead to stagnation which can be the death of a small company. You can build on a failure by being creative and looking for a unique approach to problem solving.

Failure reminds you that you’re not alone.

Believe it or not, failure can make you a better person. Accepting failure as part of success can make you more empathic and less judgmental of others. You’ll be more likely to help other people you see trying to make it, and in return, you will be more open to asking for and receiving help when you need it. Like it or not, we’re only human, and failure helps us to remain humble.

Failure will make you kinder to yourself

Seeing failure in its proper light will make you more forgiving of your flaws. You’ll be less of a perfectionist and be less prone to self-doubt. And that, in turn, will build your self-confidence and make you more likely to succeed. So, don’t let the pursuit of perfection keep you from being great.

Embrace failure, learn from it and use it as a stepping stone to success!

Speak up * Speak easy * Speak often!

Running Towards Fear

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conquering fear

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Franklin Delano Roosevelt said these words as a way to comfort a country devastated by a harsh depression. The meaning of Roosevelt’s statement is to face your fears and not be paralyzed by them.

Running towards your fears often requires you to step outside of your comfort zone. While change is a necessary part of life it is often difficult to come to terms with, especially when the change isn’t planned or wanted. But hiding from fear can be crippling and usually makes the situation worse. We may want to stick our heads in the sand and put off taking action. But doing nothing is a decision that carries consequences. Another tendency is to take action from a place of fear rather than from a place of possibility and strength. Actions taken out of fear typically lead to less creative thinking and tend to yield short-sighted results.

When you do approach situations you fear, you often find they are not as bad as first imagined. It helps to ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Our imaginations are almost always worse than the reality. Furthermore, you feel a much greater sense of accomplishment when you tackle your fears head on.

Most people have a fear of speaking in public. Setting yourself up to do just that can be a great start to running towards your fear. Contact a local business organization and ask if you can come and speak at an upcoming meeting. If you can get through your first scary presentation, you will find you have the tools needed to get through just about anything else that comes your way. (Fill out the form below to receive my tips on the 5 Common Speaking Mistakes.) Conquering one fear can also be a prelude to conquering others. It takes courage to break through fear and face that which you are afraid of. But, the rewards often outweigh any initial trepidation you might have.

One great way to push past your fear is to find others who have gone through what you are going through or are looking to do what you want to do. Forming support groups can be a simple and effective way to help the members work through the situation. The simple act of talking about it can often lead to taking the necessary action. If you stumble, the group can help you get back on track. Don’t forget about getting some coaching or training in your area of fear. It is an incredibly powerful way to learn the skills and gain the confidence you lack and to shorten you learning time.

Life is full of challenges. Refusing to face those challenges doesn’t make them go away. It only puts them off to deal with later. It’s rare that deferring them leads to a positive outcome. Confronting them will make you a stronger person and prevent situations from building to a point of being unmanageable. People will also see you as a leader when you step up to the plate and take charge of the situation. You will be an inspiration for those who come after you.

Speak up * Speak easy * Speak often!

3 Quick Tips for Better Live Videos

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Public speaking doesn’t just happen in the front of a room full of people. These days you need your public speaking skills in a wide variety of situations. One of the most popular ways to reach your audience is video. They’re everywhere! Periscope. YouTube. Facebook.

Live video is clearly the hottest thing since Facebook, and marketers in every niche are taking advantage by hosting their own events.

Some of them are good. Some are well-attended, fun to watch, and you leave feeling like you benefitted from attending. But some of them feel like they’re an afterthought, put together at the last minute, and don’t really bring out the best in the host.

If you’re thinking of hosting a live video event (and you should), you don’t want to fall into that latter group! Here’s how to avoid it.

Promote, Promote, Promote

On many platforms, a live video event is just a few clicks away. You can literally plan and host a video in just a few minutes, and an impromptu event can be fun.

But with a little planning, you’ll have a much better turnout. And that planning must include promotion. For the best turnout, start promoting at least a week or two in advance to give people time to plan and put it on their calendar.
Let your private groups, Facebook friends and Twitter followers know about upcoming events. Email your list. Post a blog. Even consider running paid ads for your upcoming video event if there’s the potential to grow your list or increase your sales.

In short, don’t just throw a party without extending invitations to your friends!

Interact with Your Audience

One of the biggest draws of a live video event is the opportunity to interact with the host. Your viewers want to see you and get to know you better. They also want to chat with the other participants and have the opportunity to ask questions. (All the things they are not able to do from just a download.)

Don’t make the mistake of ignoring them. To do so is to say, “You’re not important to me.”

Instead, take the time to chat up the audience, acknowledge their presence, and answer their questions. Even if it takes you out of the flow and you lose your place momentarily, it’s worth it to make viewers feel respected and as if they’re a part of the event rather than just a passive viewer. Remember, building rapport with you audience also builds trust. The more you are trusted the more people will turn to you when they need your expertise.

Remember to check the comments later, too. If your video is available for viewing after the live event is over, encourage the conversation in the comments.

Also, remember to include the people who signed up and may not have been able to attend. Email them a link to watch the video at a later date. Be sure to include any offers you made and a link to purchase them.

Repeat What Works

You have a lot of options when it comes to live video. Periscope, YouTube, Facebook, and others all have their place, and I encourage you to try them all. But in the end, you’ll want to concentrate on what’s working.

If your audience loves Facebook but can’t figure out Periscope, it makes no sense to broadcast there. The same goes for length, topic choices, and day and time of broadcast. You’ll want to test all the variables, track your results, and do more of what’s working.

Here’s what you don’t need to worry about when it comes to live video: Perfection.

No one expects you to look like a cover model or to speak like a news anchor. In fact, looking too perfect, might actually negatively impact your results, because you could come across as unapproachable. Having said that, don’t show up looking like you just rolled out of bed. People make decisions based on what they see. If you show up looking a mess it suggests your business is a mess too. Take a few minutes to put yourself together so you look somewhat professional. Being real does not mean unpolished!

Speak up * Speak easy * Speak often!

8 Actions to Take to Manifest More Money in Your Business

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de-clutter your emotions

In my previous blog posts I discussed how to manifest more money in your business and how to develop a success mindset.

In these two posts I focused on how to send a message to the universe with your spiritual actions such as gratitude, meditation and energy healing and how to be a success you must believe in your mind that you are a success.

I would like to now take the time to share how manifesting money and success also involves taking actions outside the spiritual realms – such as those in your day to day life and interactions with people.

1. De-clutter Your Emotions

It’s all well and good de-cluttering your closet or your office, but be sure to spring clean other areas of your life. What habits and thoughts have you been clinging on to that no longer serve you? Let them go. Fire them. Give them permission to leave.

2. Watch Your Words
Words can be powerful. Words can create your reality, so eliminate words that dis-empower you, like ‘someday’, or ‘one day’ or ‘in the future’.

Instead, substitute phrases like ‘I am going to …’ (as in “I am going to the Bahamas on July 15”). Once you make a clear plan and commitment, you will find all sorts of ways to move toward that goal, and it will become a reality.

3. Take the ‘Odd Giant Step’
Small actions that move us towards our goals are important—but if you really want to rocket boost your manifesting, get out of your comfort zone and give yourself permission to do things you wouldn’t normally do.

Sign up with that coach you’ve admired for the last three years. Get out of her free Facebook Group and invest in a coaching package or take her high-end boot camp.

Book that vacation you’ve been dreaming about for years. Indulge that childhood dream—the one your father always scoffed at—and learn to ride a horse.

4. Use Tools that Rule
Don’t keep buying cheapie courses or the economy version of a piece of technology. Invest in the best: The best and fastest computer, the VIP Mastermind weekend instead of the $10-a-month Basic Membership and the best VA instead of a fly-by-night cheapie contractor whose work you have to correct.

5. Share Your Dreams and Goal
A dream or a goal that is kept secret is one you’re not really sure about. You’re not sure if you deserve it. You’re not sure you can do it. You’re not sure if it is for you.

Start talking about your dreams and goals with people you trust. Sometimes, that person can provide an unexpected key piece of your puzzle, or even just encourage you and cheer you on.

And sometimes, when you actually put something into words, you will give yourself big clues and trigger cool insights that move you forward.

6. Use Tangible Tokens
Objects are not always just clutter. They’re not always ‘pretty but useless’. (Whose voice do you hear, when you read that phrase?)

Sometimes objects can be become powerful tokens or symbols of success. That’s when they transform into inspirational tools.

For example, that big piece of amethyst you dug up at the Amethyst Mine on that fantastic day last summer when you gave yourself permission to play hooky from work. Your giant-poppy umbrella that you bought on vacation in Seattle. Anything that triggers feelings of hope and happy memories can remind you that you can do anything you want: Because you already did it, at least once in your life.

7. Be Specific
This is such a basic tenet that we hesitated to include it, but it’s also one of the most important things to remember when getting ready to manifest, so here it is.

Setting a specific deadline for a step to be completed by (or a goal to be reached); specifying to the Universe that you want a brand-new car this time; looking for a specific type of VA to take care of specific needs. This sort of thinking and planning will move you toward your goal without back-tracking, stalls or hitches.

8. Acknowledge Fear
Being positive is not about denial. It’s not about yelling ‘I open myself to the abundance around me’ when you have just lost your biggest client, because your gut will tell you pretty thoroughly that you’re delusional.

An ancient Oriental proverb goes, “my enemy is my teacher”. Adopt that approach to fear. Use it as a learning tool and a motivator, and let it empower you.

Being positive is about facing your fear and acknowledging it, but not being derailed by it. Facing your fear can teach you that you have the power to deal with it, rise above and meet your goals.

Speak up * Speak easy * Speak often!

How to Manifest a Success Mindset

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make more money in business

Some people believe that you get the hand you’re dealt with and you can’t change it. It’s called a fixed mindset.

Other people believe getting ahead is related to hard work and it is not inherited. This one is called the growth mindset.

The people that have the growth mindset are the ones that end up successful in life.

I agree with the growth mindset. I also believe that you should manifest a success mindset to go hand in hand with working hard. To be a success you have to believe that you are a success.

Here are 6 things that you can do on your way to becoming a success.

1. Adopt a Success Mindset
Someone still clinging to old, negative self-messages and ‘I’m doomed to be poor’ thinking will end up blocking abundance at every turn. There’s no magic to overcoming this: Simply make the resolution that from this moment forth you will focus on the successes in your life from this moment forth.

Seeing all the ways in which you do move towards a better life can be the most powerful manifestation technique of all.

2. Give When You’re Lacking
When things are really tight, there’s a natural tendency to go into “fear mode”, and focus on the big hole in the boat. This leads to lowered vibrations as we let fear paralyze us.

Next time you are facing tough financial times, look outward. Donate to a cause you care about. Giving when it hurts is a powerful way to raise your vibration and signal your trust to the Universe.

3. Create a Success Playlist
It’s a well-known fact scientifically that music can energize or depress. Create a playlist for yourself that fills you with beauty, hope and energy. Play it while you’re working. Play it while you’re taking a break. Play it whenever you need a soul boost.

4. Have Fun Becoming Wealthy
Too often money and finances are sources of grim stress and despair. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve got—or lack—right now. It doesn’t matter how much you need to grow your net worth—fast. Taking a few moments to have fun with becoming wealthy takes away its power to paralyze (and helps keep you in touch with your creative, spiritual side—essential to prolific manifesting).

Pay for the next person’s coffee. Get yourself the super-deluxe Frappacappamochaccino, once in a while. Buy yourself a bunch of roses instead of that single carnation you usually purchase. Better yet, buy a bunch of roses for someone else and surprise them. Buy those ridiculous sunglasses with dragonflies on each wing. Spend a couple of hours making a folk-art decorated Money Box to keep small change in.

It doesn’t matter if the treat is big or small; for you or for someone else. Take the time to have fun with your money: That’s the way to help it become your New Best Friend.

5. Acknowledge Your Power
You have the power to manifest anything you want. It’s called ‘choice’.

Choice is your biggest gift. You can choose to focus on doubling your income. You can choose to wallow in misery. You can choose to add passive income to your money manifesting strategy. You can choose to put up with a miserable, soul-sucking client… or ‘fire’ her and free yourself up for a new client who is delightful to work with.
Choice is neither good nor bad, but it’s up to us whether or not we decide to make good choices (choices that empower us and move us forward) or bad choices (based on inertia and fear).

Acknowledge that only you have the power to choose the life you’ve always wanted.

6. Don’t Wait for Permission
One of the negative mindset traps we can fall into is ‘waiting for permission’: From the Universe, from our market niche, from our spouse—or even from those long-lost voices in our heads.

Don’t wait for signs that you ‘deserve’ to become wealthy. Write yourself a note. It should go something like this: “I grant permission for [Your Name] to start receiving abundance in all areas of life and I grant permission for her to become wealthy and financially free.”

Speak up * Speak easy * Speak often!